Additional Thoughts

There are three common mistakes we, as parents, make which cause our children to doubt their self-worth.

1. Parental Insensitivity  As a parent, guard what you say in front of your children.  How many times have I had parents come to me regarding their children and give the nitty-gritty details of their child’s problem while the object of the conversation (the child) is standing a yard behind them listening to the candid details of all their faults.  Parents, we should not only be sensitive but sensible.
2. Fatigue and Time Pressure  Parents are often pricked to the limits of their endurance by what I call the time pressure.  Dad is holding down three jobs, and huffs and puffs to keep up with it all; Mom never has a free minute.  She carries the kids to school and then is off to work.  She picks the kids up from daycare, prepares the evening meal, washes dishes, does homework, off to ball practice or music lessons, bathes the kids, puts them to bed, and then drops down on the couch, only to remember she has to do it all over again tomorrow..  As the commercial says, “Slow down, America!”  What’s your rush, anyway?  Do you really call this living?  No wonder our children turn to the world to give them “time.”  We are so busy that we fail to give them what they long for: US.  But often because of pressure, all they get from us are words of anger and sarcasm.  So much for their self-worth!
3. Guilt  In case you haven’t noticed, parenthood is a very guilt-producing affair.  As previously mentioned above, we are busy and know our children need our time and love, but we must also be providers as well.  All of this equals to a feeling of guilt and failure.  Sit down, write out and re-evaluate your time and finances, and see if you cannot re-arrange your schedule for at least one hour a day of quality time with your child and along with that, attempt to give them a special day out of each week when the family spends time together.  They are worth it, aren’t they?

For Parents Only

Bible Reading:  I Samuel 2:22-36

Key Verse: Verse 24- “Nay, my sons; for it is no good  that I hear: ye make the LORD'S people to transgress."

Key Words: it is no good report that I hear

Here are my ten commandments for spoiling your child. I guarantee complete success if you apply these ten commandments.

1. Always make excuses for your child’s actions and behavior. Cover for them and never make them accountable for their actions.
2. Begin with birth always giving the child everything he/she wants.
3. When he picks up a bad habit and fusses, always laugh and think it is cute.
4. Never let your child hear you say “That’s wrong.”  You may ruin his character.
5. Let your child make the final decisions with no guidance from you at all.
6. Clean up after your child.  They will always love you for that.
7. Always quarrel in front of your children.  They gain plenty of experience that way.
8. Spend a lot of time away from home working so your child can learn self-reliance.
9. Always take the child’s side against authority.  They will think you’re great for that.
10. Always remember that your child should never have it as hard as you did as a child for we know how it ruined you.

If you want your child to be spoiled, follow this advice.  If not, be careful, he/she may turn out too good!

 

                                                                                                                    Dr. Mike Rouse

What to do:

✞Praise the Lord, for He is great!

The Heart Of A Child

Bible Reading:  Proverbs 4

Key Verse: Verse 23 - “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."

Key Words: Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life

In Proverbs 4:23 we are told to “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”  The word heart is used often throughout the Word of God.

In Jeremiah 17:9, we are told that the heart is deceitful.

In John 14, we are told to “Let not your heart be troubled.”

In Deuteronomy 6:5, we see that we are to love the Lord with all of our heart.

In Romans 10:9-10, we see the heart is vital to salvation, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” 

So what is the heart?  Solomon tells us what the heart is when he says, “for out of it are the issues of life.”  The heart is that which produces our actions.  You can actually know the heart of a person by their actions.  Now that is a scary thought that people can know my heart by what I do.  Solomon goes on in Proverbs 4:24-27 to give us three ways to identify our heart.

First of all, you can know a person’s heart by what they say.  Verse 24, “Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.”  If my words are froward (crooked, dishonest) or perverse (misleading), then my heart is dishonest and misleading.  If I gossip, lie, murmur, complain, backbite, it is because my heart is filled with gossip, lies, murmuring, complaints, and backbiting.  On the other hand, if my words are pure and clean, that reveals a pure and clean heart.  So as you listen to people talk, you can know their heart.  Matthew 12:34, “for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.”

Secondly, you can know a person’s heart by what they look at or watch. Verse 25, “Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.”  A heart that is out of control looks at things that he or she should not.  There is no reason to explain here, this is pretty clear.

Thirdly, you can know a person’s heart by where they go.  Verses 26-27, “Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.  Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.”  Do I go to the house of God or the ballfield?  Do I go soul-winning or to fulfill my hobby?  Do I go to movies which I should not be seeing?  Oh well, you get the idea.

So based on these three things: my words–what I say, my eyes–what I see, and my feet–where I go; I can tell what the spiritual condition of my heart is.

 

                                                                                                    Dr. Mike Rouse

What to do:

✞Remember, you can know your child’s heart by what they say, by what they want to watch or see, and by where they want to go.

What's A Parent To Do?

Bible Reading:  I Corinthians 10:23-37

Key Verse: Verse 31 - “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."

Key Words: do all to the glory of God

I certainly recommend that parents take an active role in the education of their child/ren, but with the continued advancement in the field of education, it is hard for the average parent to keep up academically with today’s child.  For example, what was 9^th grade algebra is now called basic math and taught as early as 4^th grade.  “Times are a-changing!”  So what is a parent to do?  You may want to consider a good Christian tutor which raises another question, “How do I know if my child needs help academically?”  If I may, please, let me suggest you look for the following.

1^st Grade: If your child isn’t reading by mid-year, you need to find them help before they develop a pattern of failure.

4^th Grade: This is a pivotal year.  Keep a close check on reading and math.  These are very key subjects at this age.

6^th Grade: Responsibilities build up this year as preparation for high school begins.  Teaching your children organization and promptness needs to be of top priority.

9^th Grade: Things now become more intense.  Keep an eye on their spiritual temperature.  Academically, science is the order of the day.

11^th Grade: ACTs, SATs, PSATs, college preparation.  A good academic coach is vital for success in this area.

We certainly will pray that God will grant you His wisdom as you parent your child/ren through the academics of life.  But always remember, the reason we stress the academics is so your child can be prepared to serve God.  Always remember that while A’s are great, the goal is not A’s, it is your child doing his/her best for God’s glory.

                                                                                                                Dr. Mike Rouse

What to do: 

✞Keep God first; but remember, if a child is lazy academically, they tend to be lazy spiritually as well.

The Chiristian and His Message

Bible Reading:  Matthew 23:13-24

Key Verse: Verse 24 - “Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel."

Key Words: strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel

Have you ever given much thought to the world in which our children live?  They are under authority all day long!  Do this!  Don’t do that!  They are constantly in subjection to Mom and Dad, and on occasion they are not only going to disagree with you, they are going to disobey you; thus the stage is now set for the clash of the wills.  These clashes are not always necessary.  Some of them, if not most of them, could easily be avoided by applying a few simple principles.  These principles also apply to an adult and relationships with other adults.

1. Be pleasable.  Children automatically put up their defenses when they know the parents or a parent is seldom pleased with what they do.  Let your children know when they please you (Mark 1:11).
2. Be non-argumentative.  DO NOT put yourself in a position where you are arguing with your child.  If they know you will argue with them, you have set the stage for a clash of the wills (Ecclesiastes 10:12).
3. Major on the majors, minor on the minors.  Keep things in perspective.  Do not make major issues out of non-essentials (Matthew 23:24).
4. Avoid criticism.  When correcting your child, criticism is certainly not necessary.  When you criticize your child, you are building resentment in them, not respect...and again, you are setting the stage for a clash of the wills (Ephesians 6:4).
5. Set the right example.  If you have a tendency to have a clash of the wills with those over you, then you set the wrong example for your children (Galatians 6:7).

Now if it is necessary to discipline your child, do so; but do avoid the unnecessary clashes of the will.  Remember, as parents, our goal is to mold them into the image of God, not “our image.”

 

                                                                                                        Dr. Mike Rouse

What to do:

✞Apply the principles listed in this devotion.

Teaching Your Child Kindness

Bible Reading: Ephesians 4:24-32

Key Verse: Verse 32 - “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."

Key Words: And be ye kind one to another

Let me ask you parents a question; in all of our teaching of standards: dressing properly, movies, music, etc. – which I believe is important – do you also teach them kindness?  If our children are lacking in the spirit of kindness, they may make a living but they’ll miss out on life.

One thing missing in our family altar time is teaching our children how to treat their fellow peers and fellow man.  I read the following and just wondered how many of our children could or would win a gold medal in kindness.

“Do you know the story of Henry Pearce of Australia, who was competing in the single scull rowing event at the 1928 Olympics?  He was leading when a duck and her string of ducklings came into view up ahead.  They were on a collision course and Pearce reckoned that his scull would cut the string in two and sink a few ducklings in the process, so he pulled in his oars.  When the ducks passed, Pearce again bent his back to the task.  There’s a happy ending to the story.  Pearce won.  Usually, acts of sportsmanship result in defeat.  Remember Leo Durocher’s pronouncement, ‘Nice guys finish last’?  It happened a couple of years ago in the marathon tandem kayak racing event at the world championships in Copenhagen.  Danish paddlers were leading when their rudder was damaged in a portage.  British paddlers, who were in second place, stopped to help the Danes fix it.  The Danes went on to defeat the British by one second in an event that lasted nearly three hours.  But there’s a happy ending to this story, too.  According to The Wall Street Journal, the British kayakers won what many people regard as the highest honor in sports.  They became the winner of the Pierre de Coubertin International Fair Play Trophy.  The trophy is named for the founder of the modern Olympic Games, and it has been awarded annually for the past 28 years to people in sports who have demonstrated nobility of spirit.  It is big news in Europe, but it has not been given much recognition in the United States.  In the past, the trophy has gone to a Hungarian tennis player who pleaded with officials to give his opponent more time to recover from a cramp, and to a high school basketball coach who forfeited the Georgia (US) state championship after he found out that one of his players was scholastically ineligible.  The first trophy went to an Italian bobsledder name Eugenio Monti for a gesture that exhibited a touch of class.  In the two-man bobsled event at the 1964 Innsbruck Olympics, Monti was the leader after his final run.  The only one given a chance to beat him was Tony Nash of Great Britain.  As Nash and his teammate got ready for their final run, they discovered that a critical bolt on their sled had snapped at the last moment.  Monti was informed of the problem and immediately took the corresponding bolt from his own sled and sent it up to Nash.  Nash fixed his sled, came hurtling down the course to set a record and won the gold medal.”

 

                                                                                                            Dr. Mike Rouse

What to do: 

✞Remember that our children should have high Christian standards, and kindness should be one of them.

When To Spank

Bible Reading: Proverbs 13

Key Verse: Verse 24 - “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Key Words: He that spareth his rod

Today there are an endless number of books that tell us how to raise our children and I confess to having read some of those books.  But I have found that there is still only one book that is really worth the reading and that is the Bible.  In the area of raising our children, God’s Word lays out for us a three-fold plan.

First of all, we are to train up our children (Proverbs 22:6).  The word train means to keep on track.  Some years ago my wife and I bought a train set to put around the Christmas tree during the Christmas season.  That train had the hardest time staying on its track; but in order for that train to fulfill its purpose, we had to keep putting it back on its track – and so it is with our children.  They are not perfect nor should we expect them to be; but as parents it is God’s plan that when they get off track, we are there to see that they do not stay off track for long.  So first of all, we are to train up our children.

Secondly, we are told to instruct our children in Proverbs 4:1.  The word instruct means to repeat back.  When we give our children a job to do and tell them how to do it, we are to have them repeat that back to us.  This does at least three things.

It lets us know they understand.

It lets our children know that we know they understand.

It prevents them from saying later when the job is not done or not done correctly, “I didn’t understand.”

So secondly, we are to give instruction.

Thirdly, we are to discipline our children according to Proverbs 13:24.  The question is always raised, “Why and when should a parent spank their child?”  The Word of God even has the answer for that.  There is a principle of Bible study called the “first mention principle.”  The first mention principle is that the first time you find a subject in God’s Word, it carries the same meaning throughout God’s Word.  Well, the first time you find the word rod in the Bible is in Exodus 4:2.  There the rod is used to make believers out of the Israelites.  (You’ll have to read the story in Exodus 4 for yourself.)  But the reason we spank is to make believers out of children.  If we tell them to do something and they do not do it, then we need to make believers of them concerning the importance of obeying parental authority.

So God has a three-fold plan for parents concerning their children.

Train them up for God.

Instruct them.

Discipline them (in love) as needed.

May God bless you as you raise your children.

 

                                                                                                            Dr. Mike Rouse

What to do:  

✞Apply the three principles found in this devotion.

Little Humans

Bible Reading: Psalm 51

Key Verse: Verse 5 - " Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me."

Key Words: in sin did my mother conceive me

Children, like all of us, come into the world with a sin nature.  The Psalmist David said, “In sin did my mother conceive me.”  In this Scripture we do not find a contrast between “innocent children” and “sinful adults.”  “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him” (Proverbs 22:15).  Children are sinners as well as adults.

I have never seen a child who needed instruction on how to sin; it comes quite naturally.  I doubt that any of you sat your child down and taught them how to lie.  It just comes naturally.

In his book, Recovering the Lost Tools of Learning, Douglas Wilson writes, “I had to confront my five year-old daughter because of bitterness toward her brother.  It seems he had clobbered her earlier in the day; although he was disciplined for his action, she was unwilling to forgive.  So I quoted Matthew 6:14-15, ‘For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’  Looking at me she said, ‘Who is this Matthew guy anyway?’”  Now her questioning of the Scriptures was not due to liberal theologians, but rather it was a result of her unforgiving spirit and her sin nature.

Our children are sinners and education alone is not the answer.  All you get when you educate a sinner is a “clever sinner.”  Knowledge by itself does not make people better, but rather makes them worse.  Education is not the answer to our problem, but Jesus is!!  (See Romans 3:20 and 5:20.)

 I think all of you would agree with me that we want our children to receive a quality education; but if all we do is educate the mind and never attempt to regenerate the heart, we have failed.

                                                                                                                Dr. Mike Rouse

What to do:

✞Don’t just educate the mind, work on the heart as well.  This can be done through prayer, Bible study, and ministering to the needy and shut-ins.

Consider Your Punishment

Bible Reading: Hebrews 12:1-10

Key Verse: Verse 9 - “Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?"

 Key Words: Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us

All of our lives we learn through the penalties of our mistakes.  A child who breaks their favorite toy while having a temper tantrum learns that he has punished himself.  A child who is denied a privilege because of disobedience will think twice before disobeying again.  Children must learn that there are consequences for misbehavior.

Bible teaching makes it clear that misbehavior must be dealt with (Leviticus 26:41, Lamentations 3:39).  Why, even God chastens those whom He loves (Hebrews 12:6).  Dads are exhorted not to spare the rod, but at the same time the Christian home is pictured as a happy place with children the crowning joy of the parents.  How can the parent discipline so that their children are really the crowning joy?  Let me suggest the following.

First of all, parents should guard against a permissive lifestyle in their children; but on the other hand, it is equally as dangerous for parents to be overly strict (all law and no grace).  Too severe a punishment will lead to your child lying, will produce ungodly fear, and cause your child to develop nervous habits.  Too strict a discipline can make your child docile but they may not be happy.  Mom, Dad, respect is earned, not legislated.  It is cruel to threaten your children.  Remember, Dad, we are not to provoke our children to wrath (Ephesians 6:4).

Secondly, as a parent, I would not only concern myself with punishing my child, but I should also consider what punishment does not achieve.

1. It does not identify the cause of misbehavior.
2. It does not show or teach a better way.

Proverbs 22:6 tells us to train our children.  Punishment within itself is not training.

Thirdly, after you have disciplined your child, they need to know you love them.  A reassuring hug and a “I love you and you are my crowning joy” would not hurt.  Again, may God bless you as you raise your children for God’s glory.

                                                                                                      Dr. Mike Rouse

What to do:  

✞All discipline should be motivated by love for your child, not anger against them.

✞Discipline is needed, but so are hugs

Pray For Your Child

Bible Reading: Isaiah 54

Key Verse: Verse 13 - “And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children."

Key Words: And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD

Praying for your child is one of the most important factors of discipline, if not the single most important factor.  Prayer can alter your child’s behavior.  When your child is having problems, fears or uncertainties, take them aside individually and pray with them about their difficulties.  This teaches your child several things.

It teaches them to take their problems to the Lord.

It assures them that you really are interested in them.

It is an act of caring and teaches them that nothing is too small or too great to carry to God.

It gives them in a tangible way an opportunity to see God work.

It joins you closer together as a family.

Now, while it is important to pray with your child about their difficulties and behavior problems, you must still spend time in prayer without them, just you and God alone conversing about your child.  The single most important factor in discipline is the spiritual emphasis.  Help your child through prayer, love, encouragement – and yes, discipline – to love the Lord with all their heart.  Then when they are grown, you can say with Isaiah in chapter 54 and verse 13, “And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD, and great shall be the peace of thy children.”

 

                                                                                                        Dr. Mike Rouse

What to do: 

✞Teach your children through your life.

✞Teach your children through the Word.

✞Teach your children through your prayers.

Honoring Your Parents

Bible Reading:  Luke 18:18-30

Key Verse: Verse 20 - “Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.”

Key Words: Honour thy father and thy mother

We are taught in Galatians 6:7 that we reap what we sow.  The verse reads as follows, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked, for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”  This is a simple fact of life, whether good or bad: whatever you plant in your garden, that is what you will harvest.  The same principle applies to your relationship and attitude toward your parents.  Today I would like for you to see with me what God says about honoring and disobeying your parents.  Four simple points...

Honoring your parents produces a reward.  Exodus 20:12, “Honor thy father and thy mother...   (now notice the reward) that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”  The key to living a long life is honoring your parents, but if you want to die young, live a life of dishonoring your parents.  Absalom, the son of King David, would certainly be a great example of brevity of life because of the dishonoring of his father.  (You can read the story in II Samuel 15.)

Dishonoring your parents classifies you as a reprobate.  Now before you get upset with me, let me show you (Romans 1:28-30).  The word reprobate means worthless, not just to God, but to society.  Now I believe every one of you would agree with me that people such as fornicators, murderers, and inventors of evil things are a menace to our society.  Well, so are those who are disobedient to their parents.

Honoring your parents reveals your righteousness.  Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”  I am 74 years old and I have never known of a person who truly and sincerely obeyed their parents who wasn’t right in other areas of their life.  Isaac would certainly be a good example of this principle.  He certainly obeyed his parents, and as you read about his life from God’s Word, you find he was obedient with all who had authority over him, including God (Genesis 26:1-6).

Dishonoring of parents is revealing of the day in which we live.  Read II Timothy 3:1-2.  When our youth, as a whole, are disobedient to their parents, it reveals that we are living in the last days, that the Lord is coming soon – which raises the question, are you ready if the Lord should come today?  Can you give me a Scriptural reason why you know you are saved and bound for Heaven?

My prayer for each of you is that you will live for God, honor your parents, and live a long, happy and prosperous life.  May God bless you as you are a blessing to God.

 

                                                                                                    Dr. Mike Rouse    

What to do: 

✞Honoring your parents brings honor to God.

Wisdom and Courage

Bible Reading: I Peter 1:1-16

Key Verse: Verse 13 – “Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;"

Key Words: Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind.

Some years ago our girls sat innocently in the living room watching Saturday morning cartoons, as they did most Saturday mornings until they had used all their TV time up for the day.  Yes, we had time limits for watching TV!  Then they would slip off to do their chores, and play their childish games – typical five and six year-old girls.  This Saturday was to be different, however.  This Saturday was the Saturday that would change my thinking on innocent cartoons forever.  Saturday afternoon we headed out for an afternoon of shopping and spending some time together as a family.  Then it happened that one of our little ones said, “Look, there’s the pig” pointing to a policeman who had just passed us.  Not believing what I had heard, I asked my daughter to repeat what she had just said.  Unhesitatingly she said, “I said there is the pig.”  I quickly corrected her and then inquired as to why she would call a policeman a pig.  Her answer got my attention, “On cartoons this morning the pigs were the policemen so when I saw the officer, I thought about the pigs.”  It was then the old saying really stuck, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

Much of the rebellion, bad attitudes, wantonness, and sheer obnoxiousness is coming from children’s TV shows.  Every parent would do well to sit down and view what their children are watching (without their children being present) and as you do, ask yourself these questions.

• Is this how I want my child to behave?
• Is this what I want my child to say?
• Is this what I want my child to be?
• Is this what I want my child to desire?
• Does this glorify God?  I Corinthians 10:31.

As a child, I remember Grandma Tate (my Sunday School teacher) teaching us the chorus, “Be careful little eyes what you see; be careful little eyes what you see, For the Father up above is looking down in love, so be careful little eyes what you see.”  How true these words are!  We are warned in God’s Word to protect the mind.

• Romans 8:7a, “Because the carnal mind is enmity with God.”
• Philippians 2:5, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.”
• I Peter 1:13a, “Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind.”

 May God grant you the wisdom to see the truth and the courage to act upon it.

                                                                                                       Dr. Mike Rouse

What to do: 

✞Ask and answer the five questions listed above – then act accordingly.

Give Them Responsibility

Bible Reading: Proverbs 6:1-15

Key Verse: Verses 6 - “Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:"  

       Key Words: Go to the ant, thou sluggard

There is an old saying that goes like this, “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.”  Much of our discipline as parents would not even be needed if parents would simply give out some responsibilities.

Our children need to feel that they are contributing something worthwhile.  Responsibility helps to develop maturity.  It teaches our children that they are expected to take a job and do it well.  So don’t be afraid to place a reasonable amount of responsibility on your son or daughter.  It not only fills up idle time, it also keeps them “out of trouble.”

In families where there is a desirable emotional climate, children have jobs to do such as cleaning, washing dishes, baby care, yard work, etc.  These children usually are easier to work with and are much more obedient than those children with little or no responsibility.

 In giving out a child’s responsibility, avoid undue pressure.  Remember our children have our genes and are not perfect.  When you weigh a child down with perfection, ill effects show up.  Some of these effects are anger, fatigue, nervous habits, and forgetfulness.  The strain of “perfection” will also show up in your child’s conduct.  It raises behavior problems rather than diminishes them.  Remember your child may not do everything just the way you do it, and they may not do it as well as you would do it; but that is not the object.  The object is to teach them responsibility and make them feel a part of the family.  May God give you wisdom as you train up your child for God’s glory.

                                                                                                        Dr. Mike Rouse

What to do:  

✞Give your child age-appropriate responsibilities.

✞Teach them how to carry out those responsibilities.

Control

Bible Reading: Proverbs 16

Key Verse: Verses 32 - “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”

Key Words: he that ruleth his spirit

Discipline is not a list of “do’s” and “do not’s.”  Discipline is control.  The reason we discipline our children is because they refuse to control their own behavior; so we attempt through punishment to give them the right desire to bring their behavior under control.  But years of experience have taught me that proper discipline in our children is not just taught – it is also caught, by children from parents who live a Christ-centered life.  We as parents cannot lead beyond our own example.  We often hear the motto, “Christ is the Head of this house.”  But as Christian parents this should also be the motto of our hearts.  As parents our “self-control” should be to let Christ rule in our hearts, then we can lead our children to a proper code of conduct for their lives.  The following are ways which we can influence children for Christ.

Be honest.  If we are not honest in our daily tasks, how can we expect our children to be honest?  You should not expect your children to be honest with you and others if you lie and cover for your children’s absences, or if you attempt to cover for them when they misbehave.  Be honest.  You cannot expect your children to be honest unless you lead the way (Ephesians 4:25).

Be consistent.  You cannot expect your children to put God first in their lives if you do not put God first in your life.  Lead the way (Matthew 6:33).

Be respectful.  Some years back our granddaughter was in a room (unbeknownst to me) when I was working.  I was admiring my work and simply let out a loud “ooh-wee!”  From the corner of the room I heard this loud cry, “Ooh-Wee, Paw-Paw!”  Children repeat what they hear.  You can’t expect your children to give proper respect unless you lead the way in it (Hebrews 13:17).

Be realistic.  Don’t expect perfection from your children.  Believe me, they see your mistakes; and when you require them to be what you are not, it leads to misbehavior.  The key is not perfection, but a 100% effort on both the parents’ and the child’s part.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

 Remember, discipline is not just taught, it is also caught!

                                                                                                            Dr. Mike Rouse

What to do:  

✞Apply the principles listed in this devotion.

The Dating Years

Bible Reading:  Proverbs 18

Key Verse: Verse 22 - “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD."

Key Words: Whoso findeth a wife

One of the most trying times in raising our children is the dating years.  This time is trying for the teens because they are under peer pressure to date, and trying to the parents because of the trials produced by dating.  The purpose of this devotion is to help both parents and teens through the dating process from a Biblical perspective.

The Purpose of Dating

The purpose of dating is actually given to us in Proverbs 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.”  The reason you date is to find a mate.  You should be looking for the following in the dating process.

a.  Those who agree with you spiritually (II Cor 6:14, Amos 3:3).

b.  Those who are not self-centered.

c.  Those who are submissive and loving (Ephes 5:22, 25).  

The average persons says, “I’ll marry them, they’ll change.”  No, they won’t!!  So the reason you date is to find a mate.

The Push to Date

There is so much pressure today to “date.”  So at what age should my child begin the dating process?  Well, I certainly am no “know-it-all” in this area, but I once again take you back to Proverbs 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.”  If the reason we date is to find a mate, then I must ask at what age is marriage permissible?  15?  Probably not.  16?  I think not.  17?  No, not really.  I certainly cannot give you an exact age; but always remember, your child is dating to find a mate, whether you believe it or not.  So at what age is marriage OK with you as a parent?

The Process of Dating

Now I know I’m old-fashioned, but I do believe it is a Bible principle that the male should be the aggressor in the process, not the female.  The Scripture does say, “Whoso findeth a wife.”  The man is to be the aggressive one.  Always remember that a male has to feel as though he has conquered his prey.  If the female catches the male, that desire to conquer his prey is still there and he, in all likelihood, will fulfill his desire on other women.

 Please note, I’m not attempting to be all-knowing in this area, but after 50 years in the ministry, I do have a little wisdom here.

                                                                                                        Dr. Mike Rouse

What to do:  

✞Apply Biblical principles to the dating and courting years.  As a parent, obey your “red flags.”